Inside their minds
by Sugargirl5
Summary: This story will contain all sorts of Cullen stories from everyone’s POV, now Charlie POV too. For example Rosalie's thoughts when she was being raped, Edward's POV of his and Bella's first kiss, Esme X Carlisle and Alice x Jasper romance...
1. Rosalie POV: My last night

**Hi! This story will contain all sorts of Cullen stories from everyone's POV. It starts with Rosalie when she's raped by her fiancé while she's still human.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. I will use some sentences from Eclipse in this chapter.**

**Rosalie: My last night**

I was jealous. I had to admit it to myself, I couldn't deny it any longer. I was jealous because Vera had a loving husband and a beautiful child.  
I started walking faster, I wanted to be home where I would probably find more roses from my fiancé: Royce King the second. I comforted myself by repeating I would always be richer than Vera, I'd always have more money and – of course – I'd always be much more beautiful. And Royce and I could have children too – with blue eyes and golden hair, like little angels.

That's when I saw them. A group of noisy, wasted guys and Royce was one of them. They were coming my way, closer and closer and they were faster than me. I didn't know why I suddenly felt the urge to run away, it was my fiancé after all. So why was I so scared?

Their voices became louder, clearer; they were calling my name and laughing loudly.

They were so close I could hear them perfectly now. 'Here's my Rose!' Royce yelled. 'You're late, honey. We're cold, you've kept us waiting for so long. But I'm sure you can warm us up.' he laughed.

What had happened to him? What had happened with my romantic, handsome future husband? I'd never seen him drunk before and it frightened me to see him like this, I didn't know this Royce.

Then he started talking to one of his friends. 'What did I tell you, John?' he crowed as he grabbed my arm to pull me closer. 'Isn't she lovelier than all your Georgia peaches?'

'It's hard to tell.' John answered. 'She's all covered up.' I hated the way he was looking at me, like I was an object rather than a girl.  
They all laughed and Royce ripped my jacket off.

'Now, is that any better?' he asked.

'No… No I still can't see enough.' John snickered.

'Show him what you look like, Rose!' Royce shouted while he tore my hat out of my hair. I screamed in pain, but if I had known the other kinds of pain I would have to endure that night I wouldn't even have bothered to scream about this. They all laughed again, they enjoyed my pain.

'Can I do the dress, Royce?' One of the other men asked.

Royce nodded and took a step aside, giving the other man permission to do to me whatever he wanted. They were all allowed to do whatever they wanted; they tore the rest of my clothes, scattering them all over the street and pushing me down into the ice-cold snow.

All I could feel after that was pain; my head hurt as they tugged my hair; my hips when they clutched them roughly; my wrists as they grabbed them and pinned them above my head to stop me from pushing them away, though they like that, they liked me trying to fight them… And then the worst pain, the pain that made me cry out: the pain between my legs.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I screamed; I screamed the whole time, begging for someone to help me, to save me from these monsters.  
But my savior came too late, they were already gone. They just left me there, bleeding on the ground in the cold night; I don't know how long I lay there, I only knew I wanted to die. It hurt so much.  
And then I saw a face like that from an angel. Perfect features, blond hair and golden eyes. He carefully picked me up and carried me away as he tried to soothe me. I noticed the speed but didn't pay very much attention to it. I just wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to be over…

We went into a house and I was laid down onto a bed. Carlisle looked worried and torn, like he had to make an important decision.  
Then he decided.

'I'm sorry…' he whispered just before his teeth pierced the skin of my neck.  
I cried out again when I felt the fire burning through my veins. I was horrified; what had I done to deserve this pain? Hadn't I suffered enough that night?  
If I had wanted to die before, it was nothing like this. Now I _craved _death, I _yearned_ for it, I begged Carlisle to kill me. But he didn't. He just held my hand and apologized, over and over and over again.

That night was my last night as an innocent teenage girl. It was my last night as a human. It was the last night that I could hope to build up a life, to have children, to grow old with someone I loved.  
It was my last night.

**I hope you like it… I know it's depressing but I promise the next one is going to be happier :). I'm going to write Edward's POV from his first kiss with Bella, but of course only if you want me to carry on… Let me know please!**


	2. Edward POV: Tempting lamb

**This is set during Twilight. It's Edward's POV of his first kiss with Bella, I hope you'll like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. I'm going to use some sentences of Twilight.**

**Edward: Tempting lamb**

'I think I should've closed my eyes.' she said, her voice shaking a little.

'Remember that next time.'

'Next time!' Bella groaned.

I laughed; I had never felt this happy in my entire existence.

'Show off.' she mumbled.

She was sitting on the wet ferns, her face even whiter than usual and her head between her knees. She looked so adorable, so lovable… I couldn't believe I had been so inconsiderate to run full speed with her without even warning her…

Maybe I could make it up to her? I'd tried my hardest not to think too much about kissing her, but of course I was just a teenage boy – I chuckled to myself – and I slipped sometimes. I knew it would be dangerous and I had to make sure I was in control before I tried… But since this morning it had been easier to be around her. Her blood still tempted me – still sang to me – just as much as before, but I had the feeling I'd become stronger. So maybe, if I was very careful and if she didn't move…

I made my decision, I _had _to try. If I had to control my thirst, I had to at least give myself something in return. Quietly I sat down beside her and leant over until my face was only inches from hers.

'Open your eyes, Bella.' I said softly.

When her beautiful brown eyes opened – they were wide and surprised – my breathing hitched. She thought I dazzled _her_, but she had no idea at all what she did to me.

'I was thinking while I was running…' I started.

'About not hitting the trees, I hope.'

I chortled. 'Silly Bella.' She didn't really think I would run with her on my back if there was any chance she might get hurt? 'Running is second nature to me. It's not something I have to think about.'

'Show off.' she repeated.

I snickered and decided to ignore that. 'No,' I continued smiling, 'I was thinking there was something I wanted to try…'

I cradled her face in my hands, very carefully so I wouldn't crush her. I noticed she had stopped breathing for a moment and I guessed she was nervous.  
Well, at least that made two of us. I wasn't _completely_ sure I was going to have enough self-control to fulfill this… But I _had_ to try.

So I leant forward just a little more until my lips met hers. The moment our lips touched, electricity jolted through me – I can't even begin to describe how her warm, soft lips felt against mine. And during that instant, everything felt right. I knew it would work out somehow, I knew I couldn't kill her anymore – not after this.  
What I hadn't counted on was the other hunger I suddenly felt. Not only I had to control my hunger – thirst, to be precise – for her blood, but also my hunger for _her_. She was so beautiful, so perfect, so… tempting.

But then she did something I didn't expect at all. I was prepared for a number of reactions – I thought that she might push me away or that she would be frightened –, but not this one.  
She started panting and locked her arms around me, her fingers grasping my hair, pulling me closer. Her lips parted slightly and I felt her sweet, hot breath; I could taste her on my tongue – that incomparable, luscious taste…

I froze and pushed her face away – as gentle as possible –, my jaw taut as I desperately tried to control myself.

'Oops.' she panted.

'That's an understatement.' I tried to maintain polite – to keep my voice even, no matter how out of control I was.

'Should I…' she trailed off suggestively.

No, I was in control now, just by looking to her angelic face. I knew I could never, ever hurt this girl; she was far too precious to me now. 'No, it's tolerable,' I answered. 'wait for a moment, please.'

She kept gazing into my eyes and slowly all the excitement subsided.

'There,' I said, pleased with myself I had so much self-control.

'Tolerable?' She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

I laughed. 'I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know.'

'I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry.' she apologized.

'You _are_ just a human after all.' I joked.

'Thanks so much.' Oops, she seemed irritated now.

I quickly got to my feet again and stretched my hand out to pull her up.

'Are you still faint from the run, or is it my kissing expertise?' I chuckled. I couldn't believe how truly happy – almost euphoric – I felt right now, and I certainly couldn't believe it was because of a human girl.

'I can't be sure,' she answered, her voice still shaking, 'I'm still woozy… I think it's some of both, though.'

Hmm, she didn't really seem stable, her legs were trembling. 'Maybe you should let me drive.' I suggested.

'Are you insane?' She eyed me angrily me.

'I can drive better than you on your best day.' I teased, smiling smugly. 'You have much slower reflexes.' I hoped she didn't see through my teasing, all I wanted to do was to protect her, to keep her safe…

'I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves – or my truck – can take it.'

I laughed, but it was only halfheartedly. Why couldn't she just trust me? I knew why, because I'm a monster. I tried anyway: 'Some trust, please, Bella.'

She pursed her lips as if she was considering it, but then she shook her head. 'No. Not a chance.'

I raised my eyebrows as she tried to walk past me toward the driver side, wobbling on her legs. Did she really think I was going to let her drive in this condition? That I was going to endanger her life because she was too stubborn to let me drive?

I wrapped my arm around her waist. 'Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk.' I snickered quietly to myself. _Friends_. As if that even began to cover how I felt about her.

'Drunk?' she asked unbelievably.

'You're intoxicated by my very presence.' I attempted to keep my tone playful and light, to try not to scare her away by showing my deep, intense feelings for her.

She sighed. 'I can't argue with that.' She put her hand in her pocket to take the key and held it high before dropping it. My hand shot forward to catch it and I smiled.

'Take it easy,' she warned. 'My truck is a senior citizen.'

'Very sensible.'

'And are you not affected at all by _my_ presence?' she asked me irritated, almost hurt. Could she really believe that I wasn't attracted to her in the exact same way she was attracted to me? Silly girl.

I didn't answer at first, but just bent my head to slowly brush my lips against her jaw – from her ear slowly to her chin. Mmm, that intoxicating smell…  
She trembled lightly and I pulled away.

'Regardless,' I murmured, 'I have better reflexes.'

**Thank you for reading and please let me know what you thought! I have other ideas for this story but I'd like to know what you guys want to read? Maybe some Alice and Jasper romance? Or Carlisle and Esme?**


	3. Esme POV: Thank you

**Grrr… I haven't been able to update for a long time because something was wrong with Document Manager and Login. Anyway, here is the new chapter :)!  
It's set during Twilight when Edward introduces Bella to his family. It's Esme's point of view.**

**Esme: Thank you**

I thought my heart was going to burst with joy. My son had finally found love, even though I had stopped hoping for that to happen a while ago. He'd never really seemed interested in women, not even the gorgeous Tanya could get his attention. I had been afraid Carlisle had made a mistake by changing him when he was only seventeen years old.  
I loved all my adopted children, but Edward had always had a special place in my heart. I saw his strength, his kindness, his unbelievable and inexhaustible musical creativity and I couldn't imagine that anyone wouldn't love Edward.  
He had once written a piece of music for me and it had always been my favorite composition until I heard the lullaby he'd written for Bella. _Bella_… only saying her name brought joy to his face and so to this family. Everybody – well, almost everybody – was happy for Edward, though Emmett and Jasper didn't really understand why he was so attracted to a human and Rosalie was being… difficult. But that couldn't bring down _my_ happiness.

I heard her truck arrive outside, but Carlisle and I kept distance from the door because the last thing we wanted to do was to frighten the girl. I was a little nervous; what if she didn't like us? What if she _was_ going to be frightened, regardless all our cautiousness?

Carlisle put his arm around me and pulled me closer to his side while giving me a reassuring smile.

'Everything's going to be fine, Esme,' he said.

I smiled back at him and then looked away from my husband's face to look at the front door.

The door opened and they came in, holding hands. She was absolutely lovely. Her hair had the most beautiful mahogany color and long, dark eyelashes encircled her chocolate brown eyes. Her figure was petite and slender and she was wearing a pretty blue blouse that matched her creamy white skin perfectly.  
And then I looked at Edward. When I saw my son's face I couldn't hide the euphoric smile that burst through. When he looked at her his whole face lit up with delight and it glowed like I'd never seen it before.

Then Edward spoke. 'Carlisle, Esme, this is Bella.' He said her name with reverence and when he looked at her I saw more than just love. He looked at her like he adored her, like he worshiped the ground she stood on.

'You're very welcome, Bella,' Carlisle said while stepping carefully toward her, again trying not to scare her.

He held out his hand and, to my utter surprise, she just took it with a smile on her face – she didn't seem frightened at all, just a little nervous maybe. 'It's nice to see you again, Doctor Cullen,' she said.

'Please, call me Carlisle.'

'Carlisle,' she grinned. I quickly glanced at Edward – who's eyes never left Bella – and saw relief written all over his face. I guess he had been nervous too that she would be terrified by being in a house full of vampires. But apparently Alice had been right; Bella was very brave.

I decided it was time to introduce myself to the girl that made Edward so incredibly happy. I wanted to tell her how thankful I was, how much I already loved her for giving my son love. But I figured she might find it odd if I said that to her now, so I just said, 'It's very nice to know you,' and I tried to lay as much feeling as possible in that sentence.

'Thank you. I'm glad to meet you too,' she answered as she smiled sweetly.

Then Edward spoke again. 'Where are Alice and Jasper?'

At the exact same moment they appeared on the top of the stairs.

'Hey Edward!' Alice called before running down the stairs with vampire speed. I was horrified; didn't she think about the fact that this pace wasn't normal for Bella, that it might scare her away? I looked at her warningly – but Bella didn't seem to mind it very much, she only looked a bit surprised.

'Hi Bella!' Alice sang enthusiastically before kissing Bella's cheek. _What on earth was she doing?_

_Please,_ I prayed, _please don't be frightened, my dear Bella. Please don't run away. Please, for Edward._  
She looked shocked, but not frightened. Edward, on the other hand, stiffened beside her and she looked up at him.

And then Alice made it even worse.

'You do smell nice, I never noticed before,' she said. I eyed Bella's face and let out a quiet sigh of relief when I read her expression; she didn't seem to be planning on running away screaming, like I probably would have done in her place. She just looked a bit… embarrassed maybe?  
No-one seemed to know what to say after that and then Jasper came down the stairs – keeping distance like Edward had asked him – and suddenly everyone felt comfortable again. I smiled gratefully at him.

'Hello, Bella,' Jasper greeted.

'Hello, Jasper,' she replied, smiling shyly. 'It's nice to meet you all. You have a very beautiful home.'

'Thank you. We're so glad that you came,' I said, again trying to put as much feeling into my words as I could. And my 'thank you' was meant for more than just thanking her for the compliment. I was also thanking her for being brave enough to come here; I was thanking her for making Edward happier than I had ever seen him; for making this family complete.

While I was thinking all this over I saw Edward giving Carlisle a short nod and I knew Carlisle was telling him about the other coven of vampires that would come to the neighborhood soon.

But I couldn't keep my thoughts off of Bella for long and when I looked back at her I saw her staring at Edward's piano.

'Do you play?' I asked her.

She shook her head. 'Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?'

'No,' I laughed and looked at Edward, 'Edward didn't tell you he was musical?'

She glared at him, but Edward's expression was totally innocent. 'No. I should've known, I guess.' I raised my eyebrows questioningly. 'Edward can do everything, right?'

Jasper snickered and I looked at Edward disapprovingly. 'I hope you haven't been showing off?' I asked. 'It's rude.'

'Just a bit,' Edward laughed and I couldn't help but smile as well; he looked so blissful.

'_She's lovely, Edward,' _I thought and he smiled at me. _'I told you everything would work out. I told you that you wouldn't harm her,' _I said with a smug look on my face.

'He's been too modest, actually,' Bella said, interrupting our silent conversation. Not that I minded of course, I could speak to Edward later on.

Now I decided it was time to encourage Edward a little bit. 'Well, play for her!'

'You just said showing off was rude,' he objected.

'There are exceptions to every rule.'

Bella's face was enthusiastic now. 'I'd like to hear you play,' she said.

I smiled satisfied. 'It's settled then.' I pushed Edward toward the piano. He didn't release Bella, he just pulled her along and she sat down on the bench beside him.

He gazed into her eyes for a while before turning to the keys. Then he started playing, beginning with the piece he wrote for me. I looked at Bella and her mouth hung open in astonishment while she was looking at Edward's fingers, moving over the keys swiftly.  
And then the melody changed and I recognized Bella's lullaby. I decided it was time to give them some privacy and I gently tugged Carlisle's arm while walking out of the room. Jasper and Alice disappeared upstairs again and of course Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen.

'That went well, didn't it?' I sighed gladly.

'Very well,' Carlisle replied.

'She's so pretty, Carlisle, you didn't tell me that! And she seems smart too; she's such a lovely girl!'

'She is,' he agreed while pulling me into his arms. 'But I don't know how they'll manage to keep this going… It's still dangerous for her.'

'Stop worrying. Everything will work out just fine.' Nothing could break my mood today.

'If you say so, dear,' Carlisle smiled before he bent down to kiss me.

This had to work out. For Edward, for Bella, for my family. It had to.

**I hope you enjoyed this, I've always wanted to write Esme's point of view. Review me please, I'd like to know if I did a good job!**


	4. Emmett POV: The angel

**This is Emmett's fight with the bear and his thoughts and feelings when Rosalie took him to Carlisle.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer's just friendly enough to let me play with them :).**

**Emmett: The angel**

I went for a walk because my family was driving me crazy. I took a deep breath of the fresh air in the woods and started to walk a little faster, wrapped up in my own thoughts.  
I was thinking about the girl I'd been with last night, a brown haired beauty named Cassandra. I sighed; she was crazy about me, but I didn't really feel anything for her. Then I realized something: I'd never been in love. Of course I'd been with girls before, but mostly just for one night, never anything serious. I snickered when I thought about all the girls I'd slept with, that was my favorite topic to show off when I was out with my friends.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a loud roar behind me. I quickly turned around and my eyes widened with fear when I saw the huge bear. It was towering above me, ready to pounce at me if I made one bad move. Another terrifying growl thundered through his chest and I could see his deadly teeth, ready to rip me to pieces.

My throat was dry and my tongue felt like leather in my mouth. My whole body froze with fear and I couldn't remember how to use my legs. All that lasted a few seconds before I composed myself and tried to slowly take a step back. As soon as I made the movement I regretted it, because the bear threw himself on top of me, knocking me to the ground. I heard the crack before I felt the pain in my arm; I had tried to break my fall with my right arm and now nauseating stabs raged through it.

But only two seconds later I almost laughed at myself for thinking that the pain in my arm was bad. The bear had sunk his claws into my chest, ripping my shirt open and digging its nails deep into the flesh.  
I wondered why he couldn't just eat me, why he wouldn't simply kill me so the pain would stop…

And then I saw a flash of white and gold and the next thing I knew the bear was off of me, lying on the ground – dead.  
My blurry eyes left the bear and tried to focus on the gorgeous face that was just inches from my own. And that's when I knew I had died and gone to heaven. This face was so inhumanly beautiful, the features were so incredibly perfect that it could only be an angel's face.

'Can you hear me, sir?' the angel spoke, her voice ringing through the air like bells.  
I couldn't answer, I couldn't remember how to move my lips; I was too mesmerized by the angel's face to even feel the pain. I stared into her golden eyes and knew I didn't even mind being dead if that meant that she would stay with me. Her blond hair lightly brushed against my face as she bent over to examine my wounds.

When she looked up again she looked torn and I thought I heard her whisper 'I'm sorry,'. And then she picked me up and I was flying. She carried me in her arms, faster than I thought was possible. My eyes never left her dazzling face and I didn't have any clue how much time had passed when we entered a house and another face appeared in my sight. It was beautiful too – also surrounded by blond hair –, but it didn't even come close to the beauty of the other angel.

I heard them speak quietly to each other; it looked like my angel was pleading with the other one. I saw the male sighing and then nodding once. He came over to my bed and leaned over me until I felt his lips against my neck. I shuddered at the touch; it was so cold.

One second later something pierced the skin of my neck without any difficulty. Another burning pain stormed through my veins – burning me from the inside – and I cried out in disbelief; this couldn't be happening, I was in heaven – heaven shouldn't hurt this much.  
I kept yelling, begging that it would stop until I saw my angel's face again, her forehead wrinkled with worry and for a moment I thought I saw regret in her eyes. I immediately stopped yelling and just concentrated on her perfect face, and I knew that as long as she stayed with me, I could bear any pain.

**Blond Velma asked me to write some Carlisle/Esme or Alice/Jasper romance, so one of those is coming up next :). Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, I love reviews!**


	5. Carlisle POV: Esme

**Here's the Carlisle/Esme romance! (I know the title isn't very original, but I really didn't know another one…)**

**Carlisle: Esme**

I'd never thought I would see her again. Esme Platt. The girl I'd once taken care of when she had fallen out of a tree at the age of sixteen was now a beautiful, twenty-six year old woman. She had jumped off a cliff at an attempt to commit suicide after her baby had died and she'd been brought to the hospital where Doctor Miller had examined her. His conclusion was that she should have been brought to the mortuary right away for there was nothing he could do for her.

But I couldn't just let her die. I had always found her a very pretty and special girl – woman now – and I could still hear her heart beating, she wasn't dead yet.  
So I quickly examined my last patient for the day and hurried to the mortuary, hoping I wouldn't be too late. I wasn't, as by a miracle her heart was still beating though it was slowing noticeably now. I knew I had to be quick and after a last check to make sure no-one was around, I bent over her body and sunk my teeth into the soft flesh of her neck – her blood instantly filled my mouth. It tasted delicious of course, but it wasn't that difficult to stop because it was weaker than the blood of strong, healthy humans.

Her soft cries filled the quiet room and I knew I had to take her out of here before someone would come to see who was screaming in a room where there should only be dead bodies.

So I carefully lifted her, cradling her in my arms while whispering soothing words into her ear. I carried her through the back entrance over a small square where almost no-one ever came and then ran through the woods to my house.

Edward was waiting for me at the door; he had heard my thoughts and was looking at me disapprovingly.

'What did you do, Carlisle?'

I instantly felt the urge to defend myself at his harsh tone – especially because I felt guilty myself too. 'Edward, she was dying… I couldn't just leave her there, she's so young. She should have a life, even if that means that she'll have a life as one of us.'

He looked at me with a confused expression, his expression concentrated. Then his eyes widened.

'You… you love her.' He almost made it sound like a question.

His words startled me. Could that be true? Could I truly love her, the woman I was still holding in my arms, reluctant to let her go?  
Yes. Suddenly I knew why I had felt the urge to save her – I loved her.

I nodded, my expression still surprised. I'd been alone for over three hundred years – I'd never experienced love before, so that's probably why I hadn't recognized it.

Edward looked into my eyes for a long moment and then gestured toward the couch.

'You should put her down. She's beginning to really feel the pain.'

I nodded again and gently laid her down on the couch, rearranging the cushions so she would be as comfortable as possible. She was writhing with agony now, screaming and crying – it would be the last tears she would ever shed.  
I stayed at her side the whole time of the transformation, apologizing and talking to her, explaining what she'd become.

After three agonizing days – for her as well as for me – her screaming stopped and the pain slowly faded away.

She looked at me with her crimson eyes and I smiled insecurely. I knew _I _loved her, but would she be able to love me too? Or would she hate me for what I had done to her? I knew it was selfish to wish that she would love me too; actually it seemed like I had been selfish this whole day.

Then relief engulfed my dead heart when she smiled back at me; at least she didn't hate me.

'Doctor Cullen.' she said with her new, musical voice. 'I'd never thought we would meet again. I have to say, you haven't changed a bit in those ten years.'

I smiled at her. 'You – on the other hand – have become a real lady since the last time I saw you.' I chuckled quietly.

She smiled once again – the most beautiful and sweet smile I'd ever seen – and then hesitated for a moment.

'Is it true? What you told me during… during the…' she was searching for words to describe the unbearable pain she'd just endured.

'Yes.' I whispered.

She nodded, as if she had already expected the answer to her question but had asked it anyway, just to be sure.

'V-vampire.' she said hesitantly, her eyes staring into mine questioningly.

'Yes.' I whispered again.

'My throat's burning. I'm… thirsty.' she said it with disgust. 'I don't want to… kill people. But the thirst… I have to…' she whimpered.

'Edward and I have another way to feed, Esme. You don't have to kill humans; I've discovered that we can live on animal blood too. It's not the same as human blood, but once you get used to it, it's satisfying too.'

She nodded slowly. 'Who's Edward?'

'He's one of us. I've lived with him ever since I changed him. I'm sure you'll like him, he's a very kind and smart boy.'

'Boy?' she questioned.

'He was seventeen when I changed him. His parents had died of Spanish influenza and he was dying too.'

'Oh, poor boy.' she sighed and I knew she was thinking of her own child too.

'Hello, Esme. It's nice to meet you.' The soft voice came from behind us.

'Esme, this is Edward. Edward, may I introduce you to Esme Platt.'

She smiled sweetly at him. 'It's nice to meet you too, Edward.'

He smiled back and for the second time that day relief washed over me, I had expected that Edward was going to be a little more difficult about this.

'_Thank you.'_ I thought before turning back to Esme. 'Come on, I'll take you hunting, the thirst must be intolerable by now.'

After I had helped her up we asked Edward to come with us, but he just smiled and thanked us politely.

'I'll give you some alone time.' he said, looking me straight into the eyes.

I looked away, a little embarrassed for some reason. Then we left, running through the woods at full speed – something Esme really enjoyed. The speed was one of the few advantages of this existence.  
I helped her to catch an elk – teaching her how to hunt – and electricity pulsed through me when all of a sudden she grabbed my hand and dragged me over a mountain, toward the scent of a couple of mountain lions. After she had fed several times to try to ease the burning in her throat we sat down on a rock nearby a beautiful little river.

We talked for hours there on that rock and that place by the river would always be _our_ place.

'Why did you change me, Carlisle?' she asked when it had been quiet for a few minutes.

'I… I guess I thought you were too special to let go.' I answered, too nervous to tell her the real reason – that I loved her. Because even though I only knew her – really knew her – for a couple of hours, I loved this woman with every fiber of my body.

Her lips curled into that sweet, loving smile again as she moved over to my side and entwined her fingers with mine. My even breathing faltered and then sped up when she leaned over to lightly press her lips against mine.

All too soon she pulled back so our foreheads rested against each other.

'I think you're special too.' she whispered.

**This was a very hard chapter to write for me. I hope it wasn't boring… Please let me know if you liked it or not! Next: a little Edward POV again :).**


	6. Edward POV: Jealousy

**In Eclipse, Edward tells Bella that he doesn't mind anymore that she's going to see Jacob. But when he drops her off at the treaty line at the end of chapter 10, Bella thinks she saw panic in his eyes. Let's find out what Edward was thinking during the time she was with Jacob in La Push…**

**Edward: Jealousy**

_You've promised her. _I repeated for the hundredth time in my mind. I was almost going crazy with worry while I drove Bella to the treaty line where she would meet Jacob, her best friend… a werewolf. Apparently, there was some kind of werewolf party, and Bella was invited. I tried not to think of her sitting there in front of all these unstable, adolescent werewolves, but I cringed anyway. Quickly I pulled my expression together in case Bella would take a look at my face. I wouldn't show her what I my real thoughts were, I had promised her that I didn't mind that she was going to La Push. That night when I had promised her after I came home hunting I had meant it – partly –, but the main reason was that I couldn't lose her to that dog. Selfish as I was, I wanted her all for myself – she was _mine_.

We were there; I could smell him and hear his vile thoughts about _my_ girlfriend, _my_ Bella.  
His expression was wary but fairly composed when he looked at me but immediately changed into a cheerful smile when Bella waved at him. I cringed again, with jealousy this time.

About thirty yards away from the mutt, I stopped my car and went to the passenger's side to open Bella's door.

'Call me whenever you're ready to come home and I'll be here.' I said. I couldn't help it; I was still hoping she would suddenly say she didn't want to go to the werewolf dinner after all.

Then she shattered my last hope with her reply. 'I won't be out too late.' She was going. Despite all my silent hopes and pleas and prayers, she was going.

I went to the back of the car to hide my expression once again and to pull her bike, helmet and jacket out. My throat got dry when I thought of Bella in the leather jacket – she'd looked so… sexy. Only two words popped up into my mind when I tried to describe that image: sexy and hot. I had to hold back a snicker when I thought the last word. _Hot_. I never would have thought I would be the kind of guy to use that word.  
Then I turned back to Bella and the moment Jacob got into my sight, the panic flooded through me once again. And once again I carefully controlled my expression, Bella didn't need to know how much I suffered.

When I was thinking all this over, Bella had tucked her helmet under her arm and now she threw her jacket over the seat of the motorbike.

'Do you have it all?' I asked nervously; I wished I could help her bring the bike to Jacob's car… What if she tripped and hurt herself?

Nonetheless, her reaction didn't surprise me at all. 'No problem,' she tried to reassure me.

I sighed and bent over to kiss her soft lips. I heard the pup's thoughts and although I was just going to kiss her goodbye, I changed my mind. I needed to show that mongrel that she was _mine_. So I wound my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to kiss her as passionate as I had done in the garage.

Jacob's thoughts were extremely annoyed and jealous now so I couldn't repress a chuckle when I released Bella.

I looked at her face for the last time and then quickly glanced at the jacket.

'Goodbye,' I said, 'I really do like the jacket.'

She turned around and walked away from me – to _him_ –, which caused the panic to rage through me again. I wanted to stop her; stop her from endangering herself, stop her from taking such a risk – a risk that might be the cause of the most unbearable agony possible for me, though I had sworn to myself that I would never experience that feeling again. I had thought I'd lost her for twenty-four hours of my existence and I wouldn't – I couldn't go through that torment again.  
But I didn't. I didn't stop her, because the fear of losing her in another way was torturing me too. It wasn't as bad as the thought that she might… get hurt, but to think that I would lose her to that dog… It caused a feeling in my stomach that was the closest to nausea a vampire could ever get.

I quickly got back into the car before I could change my mind; Bella was close to the borderline now, she had started talking to him already. The moment she had set one step in werewolf territory, Jacob took three huge strides toward her and he took the bike from her, I was glad to see he had at least a few gentlemanly manners.  
And then he pulled her to his chest, his arms obviously too tight around her, and a red haze blurred my sight. I almost got insane with jealousy that moment, all I wanted to do was rip his throat out. How did he even dare to put his filthy paws on her?

I knew my self-control was slipping away rapidly so I turned on the engine and drove off, wishing I had brought the Aston Martin instead of the Volvo, the Vanquish was so much quicker than this car.

The jealousy didn't disappear when I couldn't see Jacob anymore, as I had expected it to – the red haze just kept blurring my sight.

It was a very, very slow night. Jasper all but got crazy from all the different emotions that kept coming off of me: jealousy, panic, worry, hate, love… Eventually Alice decided to take him upstairs to "distract" him a little bit. Great, now I had to concentrate on blocking their thoughts too, like I hadn't enough on my mind already.

And then finally my phone rang.

I picked up before the first ring had ended. 'Hello?'

'Hi, bloodsucker.' I hadn't expected to hear the pup's hoarse voice on the other side of the line.

'Where's Bella? Is she all right?' The words rolled over my lips, my mind incoherent with sudden worry and I wondered if he could even understand the flood of words.

'Yeah, she's fine. Chill. She fell asleep, I'm taking her to the borderline right now. Can you come-' I shut the phone, not bothering to listen to what else he had to say.

When I got to the treaty line, his car was already standing there. I heard him wake her up and then they were talking to each other softly. I started pacing – why did it take so long?  
Finally she came out of the car and ran through the dark toward me. I caught her at the boundary line and wrapped my arms around her, sighing with relief that she was really fine, safe in my arms.

Then the smell hit me and I felt a growl build up in my chest. Those moronic wolves had polluted her magnificent, luscious, perfect scent with their reeking werewolf smell.

But when she looked up at me, smiling her sweet Bella-smile, it didn't matter anymore. And for the first time that night I felt another feeling than jealousy and panic: happiness and pure love for the girl I cradled in my arms made my chest swell up with joy.

**What did you think? We saw Edward's jealous and possessive side this time, but can you blame him? No, because we forgive him everything :)… *sigh*  
Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Would you guys like some Alice/Jasper romance next?**


	7. Alice POV: At last

**Thank you for your great reviews and here's the Alice/Jasper romance :)!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. I will use some sentences from Eclipse in this chapter.**

**Alice: At last**

My mind filled with images of the handsome blond guy again and it seemed that they were getting clearer… maybe this meant that the moment I would finally meet him was getting closer? I wasn't completely sure, though, I still had to learn how to interpret my visions more precisely. Besides, they came very erratically; I couldn't just decide when I wanted to have one. I had noticed, though, that my gift was getting stronger, I slowly seemed to get a grip on the future, on what was going to happen…

I sighed. Even though I had never met Jasper Whitlock – my visions had been kind enough to tell me his name – I missed him. My whole body yearned for his presence, my entire existence was centered around him – around _waiting_ for him, to be correct. Because that's what I had been doing ever since I had opened my new, blood red eyes: waiting, always waiting.  
My visions had become the only thing I looked forward too, the only thing that made it worth to keep waiting. Every time I saw Jasper's face, my lips involuntarily curled into a smile.  
I had seen other faces too; another blond, male vampire named Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme and sometimes images of a beautiful bronze haired boy appeared in my mind. I already knew for sure I was going to join their family at one point, but it annoyed me not to know when.

That's when the rain started – I had been walking on the streets for hours now, just strolling around the clouded city without knowing where I was going. Not that the rain really bothered me, but I knew humans didn't like it and I didn't want to call attention to myself. I looked around and decided to go into a little diner; it was dark enough so the humans wouldn't notice the color of my eyes and I had hunted recently so I didn't think my bloodlust would be a problem.

I opened the door and entered the room full of humans – I tried very hard not to think about the blood pulsing through their veins, the scents that caused my mouth to fill with venom… I shook my head to clear my mind and to remain control again.  
And then it happened, the vision I had been waiting for suddenly – out of nowhere – flooded my mind, clearer than I had ever had one… Jasper would find me. Jasper would come through that door in – I concentrated for a moment – two minutes. I had to hold myself back from jumping up and down and clapping my hands while squealing with happiness. He was coming! I was going to meet him!  
The following two minutes I was bouncing on my chair with a big grin on my face. I wasn't nervous at all; I knew we would be perfect for each other.

Every time the door opened – which was _a lot_ –, I felt my heart swell with hope and then shrink with disappointment when it wasn't the right person coming in.

But after exactly two minutes he came in, his expression a little anxious and wary when he saw – and smelled – me. I could see his muscles tense, as if he was expecting me to attack him or something. I shook my head almost unnoticeably. Silly boy, I loved him already. I'd seen him so many times in my head, not knowing how to define the feelings that overwhelmed me completely, and now I saw him here – standing in front of me, real, within my reach –, and I realized that I loved him.

I hopped down from my chair and walked toward him, smiling, though he was still looking like he was preparing for a fight.

'You've kept me waiting a long time.' I said, my voice almost accusing.

He bent his head, like a real Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry ma'am.'

I smiled and impulsively held out my hand – which he took without hesitating one second – and pulled him outside, our fingers still entwined.

'Where to?' I asked.

'Wherever you're going.' he smiled at me.

I beamed at him, he seemed to understand too that we were soul mates. He didn't avert his face, he just kept gazing into my eyes.

'I've found you.' he whispered after a while, and his voice sounded astonished. 'For all this time I've had the feeling that I was looking for something, that I was missing something, but I had no idea what – or who – it was. And now I've found you.'

'At last.' I added and smiled at him before I stretched onto my tiptoes to do what I should've done much sooner: kiss my true and only love.

**I really love Alice… She's just so sweet and cute :)!  
I hope you liked the Alice/Jasper chapter, but maybe it was a little **_**too**_** cliché in the end? Anyway, review me please, it means so much for me!**


	8. Edward POV: And I ran

**Hi! I know I've already written Edward's perspective twice in this fanfic, but inspiration just keeps coming… and because my mind's mostly on Edward when I write fanfics, most of my ideas have something to do with him :).**

**This is about the time he spent in Denali before he met Bella. How exactly did he turn down Tanya in a "gentlemanly fashion"?**

**Edward: And I ran**

I looked at the beautiful woman next to me. Her strawberry blond, wavy hair surrounded her perfect face, with the full lips and bright, glittering eyes… and still I couldn't look at her like any other man would've done. I saw her as a friend, a sister, family – not as a possible mate or wife. I didn't even feel lust when I looked at her, not even when she'd worn that red dress last night, although it barely covered anything. Her long legs couldn't charm me, her deep décolleté didn't tempt me at all and when she'd put her hand on my thigh I'd found it irritating rather than exciting. But I hadn't dared to say anything about it, I hadn't pushed her hand away – I had continued to be the perfect gentleman.

The daylight was slowly fading away into twilight. I sighed, another day that ended in the middle of my endless night.

'Edward?' Tanya asked. 'What's on your mind? Talk to me, you're fretting again.'

I gave her a weak smile. 'It's fine Tanya. I was just philosophizing about my – our – existence.'

There was one thing I had with Tanya, something I didn't have with anyone else; we shared the same ideas and views on a lot of things, I could talk to her about everything and she always understood. And that's what we'd been doing for the past couple of nights: we talked. All night long, we talked about everything, except her feelings for me. Of course I knew she was in love with me – no, that's not the right word; it was more like… desire, she _wanted_ me. And the fact that I was "playing hard-to-get" – according to Tanya – made it even more exciting for her, because I was the only man who had ever turned her down, the others were all kissing her feet when she gave the word.

I _had_ tried to look at her another way; I knew my family, especially Esme, was hoping I would find someone here and I wanted to at least try, for them, for my mother. But my attempts to try to love Tanya all led to nothing, everyone could see that.  
I had given up hoping that I would find a soul mate long ago. I had found peace with the fact that I would never experience love like Carlisle and Esme's. That's what I was telling myself, anyway.

'Edward,' Tanya purred, interrupting my thoughts again. 'Shall I distract you?'

She shifted a little closer to me and wound her arms around my neck while swinging one leg around my waist. Her face was so close to mine that I could feel her breath on my lips, taste her on my tongue… The only thing I would have to do to close the distance between our lips was leaning forward just a little bit.  
I pushed her away.

'Tanya…' I sighed. 'I'm… sorry. I don't see you that way. I've tried, believe me, I've tried, but…' Damn it, how could I say this without being a total jerk?

'I'm just a sister to you.' she completed.

I nodded, watching her face profoundly to seek for any signs I had hurt her feelings. She seemed a little disappointed, but not really hurt or rejected; she'd probably anticipated this reaction, it's not like I had ever treated her any different than Alice or Rosalie. Even her thoughts were very calm, not hurt or affected by what happened in the least. Or so it seemed, because she slipped – only for a fraction of a second, but it was enough. I _had_ hurt her, her feelings for me apparently were much stronger than I had known.

'I'm sorry.' I repeated quietly. And I _was_ sorry. Not only for rejecting and hurting her, but also for hurting my family – I knew Esme would worry even more about me after this.

'It's fine, Edward. _I_'m fine.' Tanya tried to reassure me, a forced smile on her lips.

It was quiet for a few minutes; we were both thinking – and hoping, in her case. She was still hoping I might change my mind.

Then she broke the silence. 'I'll leave you alone now… You know where to find me.' she whispered before disappearing into the woods, only a light breeze of air proved that she had really been here.

I sighed; I could live with being hurt myself, but why did I have to make other people miserable too? And why, _why_ couldn't I love Tanya? Why couldn't I love _anyone_, except the way I loved my family? When I looked at Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett… I wanted that too. No, I _craved_ it.

And then I jumped up and ran. I ran and ran and ran, away from that place, away from my trouble instead of facing them, like I would do a lot more later.

**So, what did you think? I can't help myself, I feel a little sorry for Tanya… She can't help falling in love with Edward, I mean, who wouldn't ;)?  
Anyway, review me please, I'd like to know what you want to read next!**


	9. Jasper POV: Resistance

**We all know Jasper has a little more trouble to be a "vegetarian" than the rest. How does Alice help him with this?**

**Jasper: Resistance**

_You can do this. I trust you. You can do this. I trust you._ I kept repeating Alice's words to myself, so I wouldn't go out to hunt down that delicious, rich scent…

A couple of hours ago I was going crazy with thirst, so Alice suggested we could go for a walk through the woods around the house. I agreed, the fresh air would probably help me to get my mind off of the burning thirst in my throat.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled my toward the trees surrounding our house. We started a slow pace, just strolling through the woods and breathing in the clean, fresh air…

We didn't say much, though the silence wasn't uncomfortable at all. I was just thinking. There were two reasons I was able to resist the urge to drink human blood; the first was Alice – I would follow her everywhere, and if she wanted to live like this, I followed her. She'd seen Carlisle so long ago and she knew she would be part of his family sooner or later. When we had found the Cullens, I had felt hope. Hope, because the second reason I gave up killing humans was the wave of guilt that used to wash over me every time I had killed a human. I could feel their emotions; first confusion, which quickly became fear when they saw my inhuman strength and speed and then, at last, the fear became agony when I had sunk my teeth into their soft skin… The main problem was the memory – the memory of the taste and the satisfied feeling afterwards. I could still feel the thick, delicious substance in my mouth and the luscious, rich taste on my tongue while the fire in my throat was diminished by the warm fluid…  
I shook my head, trying to erase the memories.

'Are you alright, Jazz?' Alice asked, her eyes concerned.

I leaned down to kiss her reassuringly; she didn't have to suffer like I did. 'I'm fine, honey.' She still didn't look convinced. 'Really, I'm fi-'

And that's when the scent hit me. As soon as it filled my nose, the burning thirst was all I could think about, my mind didn't work clearly anymore. My body instantly prepared itself to hunt: my muscles automatically tensed and I crouched – ready to propel myself into the woods –, my nostrils widened and my lips curled back over my teeth.

All those things had only taken a fraction of a second and Alice, as soon as she'd smelled the scent herself, had placed a hand on my chest.

'Resist it, Jasper. I know you can do it. Hold your breath, resist. Be strong.' Her voice was calm and persuading, but her eyes showed her worry and fear. I was about to push her hand away and just give in to the unbearable thirst when a sudden breeze cleared the air for an instant – and my mind worked clearly again. She was right, I had to be strong. For her, for Carlisle.  
I held my breath; my muscles slowly relaxed again and I straightened up from my crouch.

Alice let out a soft breath of relief and smiled at me. 'I knew you could do it, Jazzy. I'm so proud of you.'

She was _proud_ of me? I had just shown – once again – how weak I still was, despite all the years we'd been living like this, I can still hardly resist the urge to kill. Because that's what I was; a murderer, a monster that took people's lives away just to satisfy his thirst.  
It was bad enough that the others had to check the environment every time we went hunting to make sure there weren't any humans nearby – for I was sure I wouldn't have the strength to resist the scent of human blood when I was hunting.

Suddenly Alice placed her tiny hands on my shoulders and pushed her feet off the ground to wrap her legs around my waist. Her fingers knotted in my hair while she pressed her lips on mine. It was a sweet and yet urgent kiss, showing her love for me as well as her understanding; she knew I desperately needed a distraction right now, and of course she knew what was the best way to get my mind off of the scent.

Suddenly she lowered her feet a little bit and pushed them into the back of my knees so I knocked down on the ground. She giggled and I couldn't help but laugh with her as I rolled us over so I hovered above her. We gazed into each other's eyes and our laughing subsided, nothing else mattered but us being together, loving each other.

As soon as I dipped my head to kiss her again, the fire in my throat was shoved to the back of my mind, to a little corner where I could resist it much more easily. And I knew that as long as Alice would be with me, I would be able to handle anything. For her.

**I really hope you liked it. Jasper has always been a very mysterious character to me, so it was a challenge to get into his head.  
I'm thinking of writing a new story about the wolves now. It would sort of be like this one, I would write some romance about imprinting; for example, I was going to write about Sam and Leah's and then Sam and Emily's relationship… Would you guys like that?**


	10. Edward POV: Burning

**Hi! Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter!  
Here's a little more Edward POV, it's set during the month after the van accident in Twilight in which he and Bella didn't speak to each other.**

**Edward: Burning**

Another day of torture. Another day I had to live with the feeling my throat was on fire. And another day I had to face and try to repress the overwhelming and impossible love I felt for Isabella Swan. Impossible because I couldn't even be close to her without holding back – or attempting to hold back – the monster inside me, which was constantly trying to break free of the cage I'd locked him in to prevent me of doing what almost felt natural: feeding. Letting the hot blood that pumped through her veins caress my tongue…

No. I had to stop thinking things like that.  
I would not kill Bella, I… loved her. This sentence had become almost a mantra in my head the last couple of days.  
I'd never experienced love before – not even once in my a hundred and eight years – except the love I felt for my family. But that love was absolutely nothing compared to the feelings that crashed over me when I saw Bella. She was the most important person in my world now, more important than anyone of my family, and I knew I wouldn't hesitate one second to fight one of them if they tried to hurt Bella.

My love for Bella was a blessing – I'd finally found a reason to live, a reason to keep living my meaningless immortal life – as well as a torment – no matter how much I wanted to stay with her, to protect her and hold her, I couldn't, it was too dangerous. I had to stay away from her, I had to ignore her to keep her safe, to protect her from what I am. Of course I knew my behavior was rude, I knew that it hurt her and that she was wondering what she'd done wrong.

'_You've done nothing wrong!' _I wanted to scream at her. _'It's me, Bella, love! Can't you see how madly, desperately in love I am with you?'_

Instead I just made her believe that I ignored her, though that was the exact opposite of what I was doing. I watched her every move from the corners of my eyes, I made sure she was safe and didn't hurt herself and I marveled over her beauty. Every time she walked into the room, she took my breath away; every time I looked at her I swear my dead heart swelled with love and adoration.

At first the burning thirst had been the only fire in my body, but then I had seen her beauty, the endless depth of her chocolate brown eyes; I had noticed the mystery her mind formed, I was captivated by the gravity that seemed to surround her… And now I was burning with love, passion and desire too… It felt like I should be a pile of ashes now, I'd thought the fire in my throat alone would be enough to burn my entire body, but it seemed like the other fires were even worse. They consumed everything, even the thirst I had once considered irresistible.

So you would think I would have gotten used to all those things, and yet this day was exactly the same. The red haze of jealousy blurred my sight again when I saw Bella talking to Mike Newton as she entered the classroom; my muscles tensed as her scent filled my nostrils before I carefully locked up the monster that raged inside me, and the urge to protect the fragile girl I loved so much came back, if possible even stronger than before.

I held my breath when she sat down next to me. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and I tried to control my expression, focusing on the teacher in the front of the class, making her believe she had no effect on me at all. She sighed softly and for one time I could guess her thoughts: she thought I was being rude again, that I didn't care about her, that I _regretted_ saving her… I just wished I could explain how much she meant to me.  
She let her hair hang down over her shoulder, creating a wall between us.

'_No! Let me see your face, Bella, please…'_ I was pleading with her in my thoughts, begging her to let me see her face, just once again…

Almost as if she'd heard my thoughts, as if she responded to my pleas, she flung her hair back so I could print her face in my memory, just in case…

**I hope you liked it. Please review me, it makes me so happy :)!**


	11. Charlie POV: I'll kill him

**Okay, I know this story is called 'Cullen stories', but I really wanted to write Charlie's POV too… So if anyone has an idea for a new name for this story, please let me know.  
This is set in the end of New Moon when Charlie comes home and Bella's gone. In the end: the confrontation with Edward when they come home.**

**Charlie: I'll kill him**

'Bells? Alice? I'm home!' I shouted as I loosened my tie.

Harry's funeral had been tough, I'd never been a man who showed much emotion but at the funeral I couldn't help but let the tears flow. It seemed as if my body would crumble with the weight it had held up the last couple of months. I had suffered more under Bella's depression than I'd shown to her, I'd always tried to keep my expression neutral when she came in the room – though I doubt she would've noticed the pain on my face even if I showed it. She'd been avoiding my eyes for months, looking past me when talking to me, staring at something far away… She'd been dead, a zombie, and now she was finally starting to live her life again, thanks to Jacob. I'd been glad and worried at the same time when I'd seen Alice Cullen; I'd always loved the girl, but I was terrified she would remind Bella of _him_ again; _him_ being the boy who had left my daughter in the woods, _him _being the one over whom Bella had mourned for months…  
I took a deep breath to calm myself, Bella shouldn't see my rage towards him, and went into the kitchen.

'Bella?' I shouted again.

That's when I saw the little note on the kitchen table. I frowned, where could they've gone? Maybe they went to La Push to see Jacob?

But as soon as I read the note, this miserable day became agonized. How could she do this to me? On the day of Harry's funeral, she just left, without even leaving a number I could call her on? And why _the hell_ was she going to _Edward_ because he was in danger? What did she care? I didn't see why that would be her problem.

The next three days were without doubt the worst of my life. It was worse than when I heard Harry was dead. It was worse than the first days after Renee had taken Bella and left me here in Forks. It was worse than the evening Bella ran through the same door Renee had left seventeen years ago, with the same words Renee had said to me seventeen years ago.

This was worse because more emotions I had ever felt in my entire life flooded through me in only a couple of seconds, and that for _three days_. I went from furious to desperate, from hopeful when I heard a car driving into the street, to devastated when it wasn't Bella. I was going insane with worry – I didn't even want to think of all the trouble Bella could've gotten herself into by this time. Knowing her, she would probably trip over her own feet and break her leg, or hit her head, or…  
_No. _I was going to concentrate on being angry with her instead of making myself nauseous by worrying over my daughter. Anger was much easier to deal with.

But even the three longest days of my life passed, even though every second was torture, and I couldn't help but sighing in relief when I saw Bella. Relief was immediately washed away by concern – Edward was lifting Bella out of the car and she didn't look well. And then there was anger. Fury. Rage. How did that boy even _dare _to show his face here again? I stormed outside, my hands clenched in fists of rage.

'Bella!' I shouted.

I saw Edward whisper something into her ear and I had to hold myself back from running back into the house to grab my gun.

'I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here!' I yelled at him. His expression stayed smooth, though I thought I saw a glimpse of emotion in his eyes. Was it sadness? Remorse? No, it had seemed much, much stronger than that… I shook my head, I had to concentrate on hating him right now.

Bella mumbled something I didn't understand. Then I looked at her face again and saw the dark bruises under her eyes, her face even paler than usual.

'What's wrong with her?' I demanded.

'She's just very tired, Charlie. Please let her rest.' Edward answered, looking down at Bella and pulling her closer to his chest for a moment. I gritted my teeth, what was _wrong_ with him? Hadn't he caused enough damage already? And who did he think he was to tell me what to do with my own daughter?

'Don't tell me what to do!' I was barely holding on to the thin string that kept me from attacking him. 'Give her to me! Get your hands off of her!'

I would feel much better when he couldn't touch her anymore, when I could protect her myself. He tried to give her to me but she clung to him, her fingers desperately grasping his shirt. This shocked me. I had thought she would hate him, I'd thought she'd yell at him to and tell him to go away, to leave her alone. And now she was doing this… But I wouldn't let him get close to her. Not again. So I kept tugging her arm, trying to get her away from him.

'Cut it out, Dad!' she tried to yell, but her voice was too weak. For the first time she opened her eyes and glared at me. 'Be mad at _me_.' she said.

'You bet I will be! Get inside!' I cried out helplessly. Why was she clinging to him?

'Okay… Let me down.' she breathed, her voice barely audible. Edward seemed to hear it clearly enough, though, for he placed her onto her legs instantly.

Of course I should've known this wouldn't be such a good idea for Bella. As soon as she tried to take a step, her knees buckled and she was going face forward toward the concrete. In a flash – so fast I could hardly see it – Edward caught her.

'Just let me get her upstairs,' he said, his expression pleading. 'Then I'll leave.'

I grumbled something and he quickly lifted her into his arms again, carrying her to her bedroom.

I was waiting at the door and I saw how her fingers refused to let him go, how she wanted him to stay…  
I cleared my throat, glaring at Edward and motioning to the door.

'Out. _Now_.' I hissed furiously.

He just nodded and went downstairs. I followed him after one last look at Bella, who was sleeping – I wish I could say peacefully, but she even sleep didn't seem to be able to smooth the frown on her forehead.

'Now go home. And you'll never, ever set one foot in this house again, _do you understand me_?' I almost growled at Edward before I slammed the door shut into his face.

I would protect Bella. That boy will never hurt my daughter again. I'll kill him with my bare hands if he does.

**I hope you liked it and please review me, I hardly get any reviews on this story… :( And if anyone has a new name for this story, just let me know please!**


	12. Carlisle POV: Frightening premonitions

**New title thanks to katiecullen01 :)! Again, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, you all make my day! This chapter is Carlisle's thoughts when he stitched Bella's wound in after Jasper's attack in New Moon. And once again, I want to thank someone: ichihappi, thank you so much for sending me your ideas!**

**Disclaimer: The dialogue is all Stephenie Meyer's, the rest is mine :).**

**Carlisle: Frightening premonitions**

I was worrying about Jasper, I knew how miserable he must feel right now, after what he'd done. After what he'd _almost_ done.

I was also worrying about Bella, because I knew she must be frightened now, even though she was being brave as always. She didn't even want me to take her to the hospital, though a human doctor could have treated her there, she must me scared to death of any vampire right now.

'How are you doing, Bella?' I asked.

'I'm fine.' she answered. Of course, she wouldn't want us to worry about her.

And deep inside I knew, even then I already knew, that the person I should have been worrying about the most was Edward. I could see it in his eyes, the rage, the self-loathing and the all-consuming love and concern for the girl he was carrying in his arms. I was still astonished by his unparalleled self-control. The deep cut in Bella's arm was still bleeding heavily, and still Edward didn't even try to attack her once. He just stopped breathing, locked his jaws together with a force that could have crumbled diamond and picked Bella up, carrying her to the kitchen table. He laid her down carefully, still hovering above her as if he was still trying to protect her from something.

_'She's going to be fine, Edward, I'll take care of her. You can leave now, no-one will hurt her. Go get some fresh air, son.'_ I thought.

He just shook his head, looking me in the eyes for an instant before he turned his attention to Bella again. But the fraction of a second his eyes met mine I knew. I'd known Edward for a century and I knew him almost as well as I knew myself. And the look I saw in his eyes was one of desperation, desperation because he couldn't protect the one person he'd ever truly loved, because he couldn't even protect her from his own family. And he would do _everything_ to protect her. Even if it meant that he would have to suffer unbearably himself.

No, I had to control my thoughts, I shouldn't upset him even more than he already was. So I composed my expression and focused my thoughts entirely on Bella.

'Just go, Edward.' Bella sighed.

Edward shook his head, still not breathing and trying very hard not to attack her himself. When I saw my son's goodness and strength, I couldn't believe why he didn't think there was another life after this one for him. There had to be.

'I can handle it.' he managed to get out with the last breath he had.

_'I trust you, son. I know you won't harm her, but you don't have to make it this difficult for yourself.'_ I thought, again trying to get him outside, the thirst must be extraordinarily painful for him.

'You don't need to be a hero,' Bella went on. 'Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air.'

She winced when I put disinfectant on her arm to clean the wound.

'I'll stay.' Edward said.

'Why are you so masochistic?' she mumbled.

He still didn't want to leave her, so I used my last card.

'Edward, you may as well go find Jasper, I'm sure he's upset with himself right now and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now.'

'Yes, to find Jasper.' Bella agreed enthusiastically.

'You might as well do something useful.' Alice added.

I saw Edward's jaw tense further as he eyed us irritated, obviously he knew we were working together against him.

_'I'll take care of her, Edward, I promise. Just go.'_ I thought, but I kept my eyes focused on Bella.

His eyes narrowed a bit but then he nodded and left the kitchen, trying very hard not to sprint out. A little later Alice gave up too, she hadn't hunted in a while she would want to be with Jasper right now anyway.

'Well, that's everyone,' Bella sighed. 'I can clear a room at least.'

'It's not your fault.' I tried to comfort her, though I couldn't repress a chuckle, while I kept working on her arm, focusing on what I was doing rather than on the strong scent of blood in the air. Not that it really bothered me, but it was just easier.

Cleaning, getting all the glass out, stitching …

'It could happen to anyone.' I went on.

'_Could_,' she responded, 'but mostly it usually just happens to me.'

I laughed again, she _was_ extremely clumsy, that's true, but this really wasn't her fault. I was beginning to think that Edward's theory really was correct; maybe she just attracted danger…

'How can you do this?' Bella asked as she looked at my face. 'Even Alice and Esme…' She shook her head.

'Years and years of practice. I barely notice the scent anymore.' I told her. But she didn't seem to see that what Edward had done was so much more difficult than what I was doing. I had centuries of experience, Edward only had one century, and he didn't even have the same experience as I had.

'Do you think it would be harder if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time and weren't around any blood?' she asked. Hmm, an interesting question… maybe it would be, though I'd always remember the technique to just concentrate on something else.

'Maybe,' I shrugged, being careful not to move my hands, 'I've never felt the need for an extended holiday.' I smiled. 'I enjoy my work too much.'

She was quiet for a little while, her face thoughtful.

Then she spoke again. 'What is it that you enjoy?'

Another good question. Edward was right, she was a very bright and observing girl.

'Hmm… What I enjoy the very most is when my… abilities let me save someone who would otherwise have been lost. It's pleasant knowing that, thanks to what I can do, some people's lives are better because I exist. Even the sense of smell is a useful diagnostic tool at times.' I smiled slightly.

'You try very hard to make up for something that was never your fault.' she said while I searched my bag for a needle.

Was I trying to make up for something? Or was I just trying to make the best out of my existence?  
No, I didn't think I was making up for what I was, I just really enjoyed helping people, saving lives. It had always been my dream to become a doctor, a dream which was postponed a bit because of my change.

'What I mean is,' she continued, 'it's not like you asked for this. You didn't choose this kind of life and yet you have to work so hard to be good.'

'I don't know that I'm making up for anything.' I disagreed. 'Like everything in life, I just had to decide what to do with what I was giving.'

In the meantime, I'd finished stitching up her arm.

'There,' I said as I snipped a thread. 'all done.' I tried to remain the cheerful and composed expression on my face, but inside I was almost nauseous with worry, a feeling that I hadn't had in a very long time, I could only remember it vaguely from my human years…

I looked around and sniffed the air. Still way too much blood in the room, the scent was too strong. I had to make sure that I'd cleaned up everything before the rest came back, though I knew Esme was already cleaning up the living room.  
But first I taped a thick bandage around the wound on Bella's arm.

'In the beginning, though, why did you even think to try a different way than the obvious one?'

I smiled at her insatiable curiosity.

'Hasn't Edward told you this story?' I asked. I could still remember the day I'd seen Bella for the first time as if it were yesterday. The fragile girl I had cured in the hospital once had seemed so much more important then, when I'd seen Edward's adoring gaze… It was the first time in nearly a hundred years that I'd seen Edward truly happy.

'Yes, but I'm trying to understand what you were thinking.'

Suddenly I knew why she was so curious, I knew what she was thinking of. She wanted to become one of us too, and she was wondering what _she_ would think when she was a vampire.

'You know my father was a clergyman.' I said quietly while I cleaned the table. 'He had a rather harsh view of the world, which I was already beginning to question before the time that I changed.'

I thought quickly after that, I needed to burn the gauze I'd used to clean the table and Bella's wound, this would be the only way to remove all the blood…

I saw her jump up when the gauze caught flame.

I apologized. 'Sorry. That ought to do it.'

I thought back to my story, to the story of my youth… I didn't remember my father very well, the memory of his face was blurry, but I remembered the feelings…

'So I didn't agree with my father's particular brand of faith. But never, in the nearly four hundred years now since I was born, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form or the other. Not even the reflection in the mirror.' I went on.

I knew Edward didn't agree with me at all, in fact this was one of our few disagreements. We'd always been very close, ever since I'd changed him and even when he had been human. We'd had long conversations in the hospital, when he had been there with his mother, when he'd been still healthy…

'I'm sure all of this sound a little bizarre, coming from a vampire,' I grinned when I saw her cringe a bit at the word _vampire_. 'But I'm hoping that there is still a point in this life, even for us. It's a long shot, I admit. By all accounts, we're damned regardless, but I hope, maybe foolishly, that we'll get some measure of credit for trying.'

'I don't think that foolish.' Bella mumbled, clearly wrapped up in her own thoughts again. 'And I don't think anyone else would either.'

'Actually, you're the very first one to agree with me.' I said. I was very glad someone seemed to have the same view on our existence as I did, though I couldn't be entirely sure if she really thought this way, or if she was just trying to comfort herself because she wanted to become a vampire too…

**So… what did you think? I know it's not really the end, but I'm going to stop here, because the rest is mainly Carlisle's thoughts, and it would be a copy of the book. I know it was already fairly close to the book, but it's meant to be the same conversation, just with Carlisle's thoughts in between…  
Please review me, it makes me happy :D!**


	13. Edward POV: But they never came

**Hi everyone! I'm so very sorry for not updating for a while, but unfortunately, real life is sometimes too time-consuming to write much and my exams are coming up…**

**Anyway, here's an Edward-chapter (yay for Edward!) about his "rebellious" period when he was away from Carlisle and Esme.**

**Edward: But they never came**

The rich, delicious taste I lived for these days trickled down my throat, extinguishing the fire as it went. The soft thump as the cold, bloodless body fell on the ground didn't make me cringe in regret anymore. I didn't have much feelings except for the insatiable thirst, and the hate of course, when I had to read another monster's thoughts. Because that's all my preys were, monsters. Robbers, rapists, serial-killers, … I'd had them all. But sometimes I slipped, like now. Sometimes the thirst was so bad that I killed an innocent human.

At first, there had been remorse. This was partly because I could hear every single thought my prey had during its last terrifying moments, and partly because of the "education" Carlisle had given me. And sometimes, even now, after all these years, I still wondered what he would think of me if he would see me like this, a monster, controlled by the urge to satisfy his lethal needs. Sometimes I wondered what would happen if I would go back to Carlisle and Esme. Would they allow me to talk to them? Would they forgive me? And, the most important question, if I went back, would I be able to live according to Carlisle's lifestyle?  
_No_, was the answer my body gave me instantly. Even now, when I'd just fed, my body yearned for human blood again. Especially the kind of human blood I liked, the kind that attracted me more than the others. Every human smells and tastes a bit different, but some taste sweeter than others, more like flowers…  
I had to stop this, my throat was in flames once again and I couldn't feed again till tomorrow, that was my rule – one per night.

I shoved the thirst to the back of my mind – something I'd always been pretty good at – and focused on Carlisle and Esme again. I missed them very, very much, more than I wanted to admit to myself. I missed Carlisle's wisdom, his composure and the feeling to have a father-figure again. Esme reminded me of my mother once in a while, and I knew she loved me as if I were her own son… Well, ten years ago she did. Now she probably loathed me, just like the way I loathed myself these days. With every drop of blood that caressed my tongue, every bit of self-respect I had washed away a little more, until there would be nothing left anymore. I should really stop this, before I would become a real monster; one that didn't even care anymore whether he took one human's life away or twenty lives, whether he destroyed one family or a hundred.

Right now, I did still care. At least a little bit. Not when I was drinking the blood, no, then the luscious taste was all I could think about, like a junkie getting his shot – he'll maybe feel bad about it later, but not when he's feeling the craved rush again, not then. Yes, guilt takes over as soon as the last drop is consumed. That is, up until the craving becomes too much again and he just _has_ to have another shot. Just like me. That was what I'd become, an addict, not able to live without the object of my addiction. There was one little thing that made me even worse: junkies mostly didn't kill people to get their drugs. I did.

I sighed and looked down at my last victim. The wide-open, staring eyes seemed to manage to eye me accusingly and I couldn't help but remember the thoughts she'd had just before I took her life away. She was thinking about her little boy she'd just dropped off at his grandmother's house because she was going on a date with her husband… Not only had I taken a life away, but also a wife, a lover and a mother.

I held her hand as I sobbed above her body, trying in vain to force some tears from my dry eyes to mark this woman's grave.  
Naturally, they never came.

**I'm sorry, I know this isn't very long, but I had to cut some parts out because I thought it would get boring otherwise… Please let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions (scenes from the books you'd like to see written from someone else's perspective), please let me know!**

**Remark (16/12/2009): Lots of people asked me why Edward killed this innocent woman. It was explained a bit in the beginning, sometimes his thirst just takes over, but there's another reason in my mind. In my mind, he returns to Carlisle and Esme because he killed this woman, because he knows he's becoming a real monster now.  
I hope this is an answer to your questions and that this explains the story in my head a little more.**


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